Hey Rats!!
I spent 3 of my 7 days in Washington State it pains me to add “state” but people always think i’m talking about DC last week with my 82-year-old grandpa, and honestly, it was ✨awesome✨. He's still sharp as a tack and has dumped Fox News for MSNBC.
After closely observing his daily nutrition plan (donuts for breakfast, Chinese takeout for lunch, and exclusively drinking coffee and Pepsi), I've been forced to reconsider everything I thought I knew about "wellness." Here I am tracking protein and forcing down green smoothies, while Grandpa's out here thriving on sugar and caffeine for eight straight decades.
Maybe the secret to longevity isn't meditation and kale chips after all. Maybe it's just shotgunning Pepsi and letting Fox News go when it no longer serves you. Who knew? Or maybe, like so many Boomers, he’s just built different.
The Good, the Bad, and the Hoobastank
🌻 Green Thumb: In case you missed it, the USDA updated their gardening zones last year
If you don’t know, gardening zones are super helpful to know what plants will and won’t thrive where you live (unfortunately, I cannot have a backyard of kiwis in Memphis)
📕 I recently revisited I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy, and it’s still brutally cathartic, especially if your relationship with a parent could be generously described as "complicated.” p.s. I feel like I should clarify my beef is with my dad, not my mom
✅ Smash: Nudestix Bronzer in the shade Sunkissed- A celeb makeup artist favorite for a reason. Creamy, easy to blend, and the exact bronzey-blush. Bonus: it’s multi-use (face, lips, eyes).
🙅♀️ Pass: Nudestix Stax- Tried three shades. All of them made me look like I’d been hexed by a ghost. The cream-to-powder finish is a miss for me. To be fair, if you’re super oily and don’t like a glowy finish, then this might be a nice fit.
🎶 Jam of the week: Divorced Dad Rock- Made this playlist to scratch that very specific early-2000s radio itch, inspired by 7 year-old me waiting by the radio in my mom’s room for 30 minutes for “The Reason” by Hoobastank to come on (yes, this is a true story, and no, I did not understand the lyrics).
🧀 Gwyneth Paltrow is eating cheese and carbs again, which is BIG news, because 9 years ago she said she would rather smoke crack than eat cheese” (to be fair, she was talking about spray cheese, which feels like an important detail).
This made me giggle- in 20 years, the South will be run by a legion of -leys
🚑 Somebody come rescue grandpa- Bill Belichick (the 73 year old former Patriots football coach) sat down for one of the strangest interviews I have ever seen. His 24 year old yes you read that right girlfriend was like a hawk in the corner for the whole interview. You have to watch at least a clip of it. Blink twice if you need help, Bill!!!
👽 I mean, while we are on the topic of uncomfortable video clips, it would be a crime if I didn’t call attention to astronaut superstar (ha ha ha) Katy Perry’s world tour. Robot choreography on Twitter here | YouTube short here
Signing off listening to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus,
Kate
P.S. If you enjoyed this, send it to your friend obsessed with wellness. If you didn’t, send it to Bill Belichick’s girlfriend.